Marriage is not an easy task, and it is no walk in the park. I could not have picked a better partner, but marriage is still not easy. We have only been married almost 8 years in October but I feel like we found a nice rhythm that really works for us and helps us build on our relationship.
Now these are thing that work for us it may not work in your marriage but the key is to always try. Try anything and everything to keep your marriage thriving.
Let’s Get Started!
ALWAYS talk. Talk about your day, text throughout the day. Keep the conversation alive. Communicate your feelings to one another. If you are mad tell them why and if you need space to get over it let them know you need some space and some time to think it over. When Brandon and I were first married I would just give him the silent treatment. Slowly over time and talking Brandon has helped me break out of that because it was something that really bothered him. He wanted to talk things out, and I would stew in my silence.
I am so thankful he broke me out of that because if we fight I say what I need to say he says what he needs to say and we come to a compromise on how to fix it. Or if I screw up I own up to it apologize and we move on, and if he screws up he apologizes and we move on.
Know when to say sorry. Sometimes with my sense of humor I cross a line, with Brandon it takes a lot for him to get upset or offended but I have managed to a few times. He let’s me know where that line is and I immediately apologize when I cross it. Brandon does the same. He knows when something he says or does comes across in the wrong way he won’t fight that it was wrong, and he will apologize. Don’t be a right fighter, just say sorry and get over it. Life is way to short and sweet to hold a grudge.
Now apologizing goes so far, part of apologizing means you will do better next time so don’t just get stuck in the rut of apologizing for the same thing over and over, because then that leads to trust issues and that can be a marriage killer.
Always date. Men plan dates for you wives, wives plan dates for your husbands. Find a sitter when you can and go out. Even if it is for a drive and cheap Wendy’s 4 for $4. You need to have time together away from the house to keep things sparked.
Once a month Brandon and I take turns planning a date. One of the grandparents will take Aria for an hour or two and we go grab a bite to eat and on the rare occasion go see a movie. It is something to look forward to, and help keep the marriage alive.
Never stop surprising each other. It can be a simple gift, card, act of kindness whatever your love language is. Surprises help keep things interesting because sometimes we get stuck in a rut and things get boring. You don’t want a boring marriage, you want a happy fun marriage!
Always kiss. Never stop kissing. When you leave kiss each other goodbye, when you get home kiss each other hello. That is one thing I am really working on with Brandon. I am such an ice queen and he is the opposite. So learning to open myself up and be emotional has been a full time job for Brandon, but he has helped me.
Every morning he will kiss me goodbye. Even if I am still asleep he will come in and kiss me. I love that about him. We also try to always kiss goodnight. Even on days we are upset with one another or just over the day and tired we make it a point to try and kiss goodnight.
Never Stop Saying I love you:
This is such an important phrase in a marriage. Saying I love you and acting like you love each other is not only healthy for your marriage, but when you have little eyes watching they see what they want in a marriage as well. I love being told I am loved because there are days where I forget I am, or don’t feel worthy of the love. We are all worthy of the love we receive and all deserve more. Make sure to let your spouse know you love them on the daily.
I hope you got some good advice from these tips. They really have strengthened our marriage. Brandon is my rock and he really grounds me I cannot imagine who I would be without him.